Broken

Today was a rough day for me. I broke down and cried so much today that my eyes burned. I was in a 4yr relationship that recently ended because of me and I been holding it on for 2 months after so much back and forth trying to get him back. Today he told me “he can’t Romantically be with me anymore” and that was the hammer on the nail for me. 2 months of me staying strong trying to move on all came gushing out at once. I just sat in my car and just cried and cried until my eyes started to burn. He was the only person I ever loved, he thought me so much, he thought me how to be happy, how to love, he made me believe in so much and even still I pushed him away until he wouldn’t want me anymore. Through this sadness today I told myself I need to go to therapy because I felt like I was stuck in a dark depression and I’m losing the fight with it. I tried staying strong but today really broke me like I never imagined.