My mind

I remember when I was in my first open Relationship I thought this was it this was gonna be so good. Then everything changed around a year of us being together. I could say the REAL him started to show. I was 22 at the time so I didn’t think anything of it because I was young this was my first real relationship and I can be open and honest about to (despite what my parents thought). But that’s when the abuse started not only was it physical but it was mental as well, when he over drink he would get angry and when I tried to calm him down he would get mad and hit me, and then when he wasn’t drunk and I would talk to him about it he would tell me I’m a liar and he would tell me I’m not good enough for anyone else and I honestly beloved that. There were days I would have to skip going home or work because I would be bruised and I don’t want anyone to see it especially my parents. But the thing is I never fought back because I honestly thought that if you loved someone that you should never strike them and I still stood by that. Call me stupid but I honestly thought that was it and I stuck by it. And during that time the self harm started again because I became really depressed and I said to myself “suicide would be an easier escape then this” and I honestly considered it. But one day I was at work and I told myself I can’t do this anymore and I called him in the middle of work and was like “I can’t do this” and he flipped out walked up to my job and everything and then he keyed my car and all even though I got it fixed I felt it was like the first time I get under control In a long time.